i dont like this one bit.

stop bitching la.
i dont even know wtf is your freaking problem.

got the sa uniform tdy w jy and karina at telok blangah and chinatown. did a tad of alteration. met nana, ate (sucky char siew rice) and went to sentosa to see the cj people. played mahjong outside nz natural (yummy bananarama) i think im getting the game more nw, haha. though made a fool out of myself AGAIN. contrary to my belief, the one dong (or ws it gong?) wasnt a flower. hahah. apparently, im still very very green abt ths mahjong business..

anyway. met hwing, don and brendan then we had dinner at harbour front. oh, hwing's 2 othr friends joined us. then we talked a bit. and we went home.

im very tired and stoned now as you can tell.
off.

so this is what its like, being away from you, away from everything.

alrighty! first day of orientation at sa was alright. haha. it wsnt bad / good. made a few new friends, i think people there are really nice and friendly! so far. haha im just REALLY worried about my class, which will be revealed tmrw afternoon i heard. not that im gonna be, erm, well enough to attend that..

gonna get school uniform tmrw! am mighty excited! and gna erm, coincidentally turn up in sentosa in my cj pe shirt and since im already there, might as well..hahah. and thrs dinner w everyone to look fwd to. really hpe it'll be a :) day.

anyway, nw tht i think of it, all we did today was a zillion jumping jacks and some push ups on the track under the hot sun >:| and STARVE. whts with the food ration?? we survived the whole ordeal with 2 pkts of biscuits and water. was DYING. and had no phone and money w me, had so dumbly went to surrender my stuff. ws terribly inconvenient! kpt wondering wht ws going on in cj and all.

i just really dont know what to say anymore.

anyway. after the whole thing i ws SO worn out, my head ws throbbing, and nw i realised im indeed burnt (stupid jiaying. i am burnt okay!) and my stomach's grumbling had NO end :|

so we hopped on a bus and went holland v for dinner @ crystal jade. omgness, even amidst my fatigue all the fab food cafes caught my eye..TINGS, future hang out place! since ac is near thr too :D YAYNESS. perfecto!

hrm, im completely drowning in my weariness.
in all senses.

a step further away from you,
a step closer to uncertainty.

i love this ! i need to keep ths forever hence its presence on my blog.

so touched :D

haha. school tmrw, im freaking out.
nobdy's gna talk to me in my og!
im gna be alone ):
SIGH.
the same things all over again.

i love tings.

is this how we end

i shall conclude that ths week sucked.

it feels awful to be caught in dilemmas and fretting about present regrets and future regrets..being torn away from people you never want to be separated from, finding out, once again, my INsignificance (as always), and seeing so many tearstreaked faces and voices ovr the phones interrupted by sniffs every so often.

i really dont know whats worse.

sometimes i get so weary of being upset i go nuts and get all hyper but jst because im not weeping on the outside it doesnt mean all my negativity has left me. im jst trying to be happy cos i jst want to be happy, but it doesnt help when people kp giving me warped reactions, as though its unacceptable and wrong to be all bubbly at ths point of time.

okay, whatever.
all these aside,

im currently a saint in sa (:|) and though it really doesnt feel right, i dont feel at home, i really hope things will jst work out. im not asking for a miracle, jst to accept the way things have turned out to be. the school is erm, well, TINY and changi hospital ish, but we're shifting to the new compound next year, the sch uniform rocks, and the people seem fun..i hope theyre friendly to the 2nd intake people. sigh. they all seem to have paired up or grown clique-ish.

karen says im antisocial :( im jst very tired of making new friends! sigh. only been hanging out w jiaying, karina, karen and other st nicks people..our clan just shrunk, steph went back to vj and hwing, back in cj. im really elated for them, plainly cos theyre happy, but it sucks to see them go. ive grown so accustomed to seeing hwing everyday in cj, rotting and skipping school/lessons together, our truth/truth sessions, eye candies (all dried up and eaten up, yes haha inside joke), her mp3 rocks, all our jokes and everything that made our friendship up. im gonna miss you girl :(

and i rmb how horrid wednesday was, tears kept welling up. karina, jiaying and i have been such AVID and enthusiastic cjcians (okay, ex-cjcians bt we will not admit tht we were crashing, we belong to tht school okay!), returning back to cj everyday ever so loyally :| ELE I MISS YOU! im eating midget gems now and thinking about our macs days and esp grand stand omgness :(

that freaking grand stand holds too many memories, not only w ele and hwing, but also with the cat high people. so strange, how everything is related in a way.

tell me you dont want me to leave,
just like i dont want to leave you.

ANYWAY. ystd had lunch @ scotts (yami yoghurt!!) w karina and jy (i insist on calling you ths cos we're in primary school) then i showed jy the superbly adorable paul frank bag that steph and i love so dearly, and she ws so annoying flippant about the whole thing i wanted to chop her hands off >:( haha then we met steph and some of her fellow nikkis. stood around for a while thn steph, jy and i bus-ed to nyjc and crashed their orientation. the school compound is so friendly and homely i wish sa ws like ths. i wld have absolutely no complaints if sa ws like tht! but of course there are plus and minus points..haha whn i saw their facils up on stage doing the mass dance it jst reminded me of my own cj orientation jst 2 months ago..but of course, ahem. they were more eye candy ish. hahah. but anyway. seems like the ny people are having fun. apart frm nana. i hope she'll hurry and come to sa pls!!

thn we chomp chomped. sat at some ANT-SY lil porch at the circle and talked and talked and talked..yucks, so sticky and stinky and sweaty and eww. haha returned the rented vcds and we went our own ways..

and ths morning i jst had dim sum with the family.
ate my fill..stomach was bursting and erupting.
haha, havent been eating much nowadays.

TINGS i promise i'll be there for you, you know that. i'll always be waiting for your calls. cheer up, things will get better, i promise. miss you LOTS.

dada another day okay? sorry i cldnt make it! misses :(

oh no, im listening to switchfoot on fire, the song tht don doesnt get. haha. okay i will stop all ths at once..

did i mention it ws a bad week?

but im so sad and despondent too.

dont let go of us tonight

woke up at 8+, someone called me (cant rmb who), screaming 'how? how??'..jolted awake and rushed online. don helped me check mine (was too anxious and the system ws lagging) and i got into sa..oh well. i ws qt neutral abt it. till tings got into ac. and i ws like fuck! i regret spending 10bucks eliminating ac out of my choices!! and then my parents talked to me, and it got better..

then i went to meet don, ate @ coffeebean..and ele+dawn came and joined us. talked for a while, then we watched the series of unfortunate events. (dawn left then don's friend haoming came and watched w us) the movie ws sucky okay. it ws like, harry potter / roald dahl without any of its magical touch.

okay im gonna stop trying to relate wht i did today cos im totally not up for tht. i had fun w ele, definitely. we bought stuff, there ws finally MIDGET GEMS, oh, we bought lots of stuff (i got a lacoste polo, fila polo, roxy wallet and she, roxy shoes and wallet AND FOOD FOR BOTH OF US :|). i love tht girl to bits, i cant believe im nt going bk cj ever again as a student, i cant believe im going to tht foreign tiny sa land like some freaking loser and start all over again, i cant believe im leaving everyone in cj behind.

sigh, ths sucks. im not in the mood for further continuation.

oh, but im jst REALLY REALLY REALLY GLAD tht thr are st nicks ppl going too.
oosh.

and i wanna believe you, when you tell me that it'll be okay

hrm,
today has been pretty depressing.

there were perks, but the picture is still painted grey.
was at the grand stand as usual (me+hwing were freaked out by jacob's suddn appearances+disappearances..spaceship at the othr end! haha k inside joke) then played bridge and mahjong w nana, jiaying, hwing, karina and other people. sheesh. they jst kpt laughing at me. mahjong was horrid. i ws some freaking laughingstock :( sigh, then we went to the canteen and i thought about a lot of stuff. melancholic. (NANA, im trying not to feel green)

btw karina! i hpe you do cheer up abt the loss of your wallet..

and!

happy belated birthday NANA and MINA!
both you 17 year old babes. pls do nt start making fun of my 16 years okay. -looks pointedly at nana.

anyway. went huiying's hse on sat for a bbq party. rockin mellow time w da at the swing. hahah. pun intended! i ws lost on the way to her hse. as in, TERRIBLY LOST. her bf needed to cycle out to perform a solo search party or smth. haha.

then ystd me+ree dropped by nana's place for a surprise. bought her a coffee cake :D erm, i think me+ree got outta control and ate a little too much of her cake despite initial fears of it being too bitter. us and our coffee aversion. haha but her cake was really yummy! and he mum bought yummy dinner. so i ate like a pig. REALLY LIKE A PIG. i ws bloated bt i ws still forcing food dwn my throat. very bad, wendy. IM FAT, I SWEAR. :(

anyway. we watched lame videos (namely some jessica simpson/britney spears thing ah mah jiggle your fats HAHA ELE, who's line is it anyway, spongebob..) on her comp till i fell asleep. (i think the others did too, only found ree laughing at the screen like a retard at the end of it) then tanny+nana taught us bridge! mighty exciting, if only i wsnt such a slow poke.

amazed that i still managed to wake up early ths morning.

anyway. off i go.
im drowning in my sorrows :(
okay thts very melodramatic of me.
whatever, wendy.

yea i try to believe you, but i dont

Amor , no es amor (if this aint love)
More than my feelings (what am i doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Its just an illusion that i have in my heart
More than my feelings (what am i doing wrong)

1t10!
; from top left, wanyi, josephine, jobyna, angel, jolene, amanda, me, hwing, sudev, atiqah, marie (bday girl that night)
second row left, thad, glen, colin, angie, bren, don, ian.

(click to enlarge)




marv, i lurvv. :)

ahem. for everyone's info, WE werent watching porn,
we just rented a very eye-friendly movie called the notebook
-rolls eyes.
its wasnt porn! eh r harh! oy! whts going on there!? hahahaha. k inside joke.

anyway. though we had a bad day and everything ws just crashing against the waves, i still had fun with steph :)

o1. BAD roti prata
o2. WHERE IS THE SUN
o3. flooded hangout place
o4. WARM iced water (?!)
o5. incapabilities to study at all the entire week
o6. LOUSY RENTED VCDS. to think that we trusted the olsens so.
o7. HAHAH steph act smart asked for extra chilli, in the end her char kway teow just sucked.
o8. depressing stuff that we've drawn conclusion to (thanks to Her World)
o9. so much for being tanned. we only found out that we're BURNT.
1o. we still talked and laughed and had quiet moments and it was so much fun.

i know what some people think about ths, that its jst so typical but i really dnt think people can judge the way they THINK things are..sometimes behind the bond of a friendship is a certain depth of unspoken understatement. it jst makes me really sad the way people think they can tell a person what they should / should not do.

steph hello pello, stephie bitchie! you koup my o.38 pen la! you silly thief. anw i rplied your mail very efficiently in a letter. hahah. ANW will you stp fretting about your f21 top..we agreed it ws an ugly piece of shit rmb??! at least you bought a pretty country top and can laugh at my nothingness during our Country themed outings :| yes, switchfoot rocks my balls. ok i hv no balls. rocks YOUR balls. hahhah i suddnly rmb wht you said abt the char siew bao. i shall nt publicise wht you said and embarass you THOUGH you made me seem like some perv watching porn :| I WAS NOT OKAY! actually, WE were not! grr.

stephie bitchie loves wendy loserly

haha..
hey bitch, I'M DAMN SCARED. like really freakin out now. this whole posting thg is really haunting me like shit. i cant believe im actually DREAMING (or rather, nightmare-ing) abt the whole thg. like for 3 straight days, ive been waking up in cold sweat at 7am n then falling alsp agn. THIS SUCKS BIG TIME. argh.. i shldve put AC as my 2nd choice. seriously if i cant go vj, i rather go AC than anythg else. oh my.. i dont wna end up in anderson. ill b so terribly miserable lar. damn. i wna go AC with u. life sucks like shit. some ppl r so pretty, so rich, so smart, so nice, their lifes r so disgustingly perfect. im ranting. haha sorry.. i shld totally have my own blog. im burnt like a lobster :l

announcement: WENDY IS WATCHING PORN!! oh my.. she's viewing some steamy sex scene.. damn disgusting lar.. i wnted to describe how the guy's fondling with the woman's tits bt i decided.. shall spare u guys the agony. YUCKS. wendy's sucha sick girl :l

haha ok she off the tv alr. anw, TDAY WS A SUCKY DAY. BAD BAD BAD DAY. nth went well!!!! n we ate so much AGAIN. fat fat fat!!! its baddd being with wendy. esp when she can eat all she wans n still b so skinny. hello, it doesnt work for the rest of us -stares at bulging tummy-

anw, dont forget our ---- promise!!!!! im so super lking forward to it! plus our regular ---- sessions!! sighh.. hope i cn stay in vj! else ill miss -. n hope ull hav a rockin gd time in SA. SHEESH my dear girl, u didnt say earlier! i'd have put AC as my 2nd choice!!!! n we can go thr tog :l wht a waste. i hope i dont end up in AJ..

wendy!! i love ya! haha. so happy when we hang out tog! shoppin! tanning! coffee-beaning! gardening (haha)! CHATTING! :D feel soooo myself agn! haha ur my soulmate! gd luck with ur other half yea! WE LOVE GARDENS :))))))

just bathed and stuff..

as you can see, i didnt go for the cj party @ cocolatte..
issue of me + crowds, have yet to tell my mum, plus HAD to rest poor tormented feet.
hope the others are having a rocking good time :)

shopping today was pretty productive! :D

got my gallaz shoes (came with a free cap!), stussy top (ths is such a good buy, a bargain! :) and another mango tank. haha. we Y stussy, dont we? -looks at steph. we went nuts there. paul frank rocks the silly afro hair back to bald. hahah tht ws stupid. but yes, goodness gracious. the stuff were extraordinarily SO CUTE today, somehow. there ws no end to my squealing. and steph ws being so strange today. she was VERY into pink and sweet ah lianzz stuff. (insert confused look). we talked and then laughed till we ended up on the floor outside liz claiborne. dont ask why..

btw, we were such Sporty GalzZ. hahah.

we ate turk chicken roll and had yami.
VERY YUMMYLISH, i'd say.

i love you, stephie bitchie!
strangely, shes prolly the only friend i have that i can comfortably + naturally (HAHA steph youre a natural bitch ok nt funny) call a bitch (affectionately, pls), albeit having no worries that she'll think im queer / offending her. apart frm nana, of course. haha she ws Peachy Bitch. cos of a drink @ Lips. ok whatever, wendy. im off!

when no one else was looking, how did you know just where i would be
you broke through all of my confusion
the ups and the downs
and you still didnt leave me

tanning tmrw :)

before i go, i'd jst like to get ths off my chest
IM SO SICK OF THINKING ABOUT YOU, MY MIND IS ALL JUMBLED UP,
WE SEEM SO DRY, WHAT IS WRONG?
youre just, gone, and im sick of waiting. like a kid left behind after school.

my tears, they are turning into time

stupid steph is a lazybum, shes still snoring blissfully in bed..so much for tanning :| she'd better be shopping w me ltr or i'll kill her. shall head to her house with some avril lavigne. haha hee.

and im left to ponder on my own if i should go for the cj party thingaling or go chomp chomp w her tonight. why is everything always happening on the same day..! tsk.

i feel like..having oc marathon right now :(

-

but right now im thinking of you..!
:)
:|

you gotta be out there
you gotta be somewhere
everywhere you are
im waiting

yucks, im very disgusted with myself, i cant stop eating!
-pokes my fats. (esp thighs pls)
i need to run 10 rounds around the cj right angled track.
i need cj pe right now.

anyway decided to stay in cos of my strong-willed diarrhoea that doesnt seem to give in. but my plans fell through today anyway.

HAHAH something just happened. im smiling now. k im nuts, its nothing much.
hee.
ive found a new prey to listen to my silly ramblings ; my sister. hahah i think everyone else is bored with me. we talked till 1+ last night. was quite nice, like the old days :)

anyway i met janice at sengkang mrt jst nw to pass her the danceworks pants to return to ryan. THANKS GIRL. im so grateful! saved me a trip. haha i just bought the kelly clarkson's breakaway! was wondering whether to buy tht or michelle branch's hotel paper (i keep changing my mind, was previously very into maroon5 then lost interest, then yellowcard, but people told me it sucked, then simple plan, but hwing lent me tht day and it wsnt tht great) ..i lost the cd of the latter. so dumb of me huh. i keep flipping out the cover hoping tht the cd will reappear miraculously. its gone now and forever more! i loved it :( used to listen to it when im sad and morbid. hahah. but anyway kelly clarkson's pretty good :)

cos there are these nights
when i sing myself to sleep
and im hoping my dreams will bring
you close to me
are you listening

i miss quality time with tings a lot, i have to say.
and ele too.
:(
im feeling alone, i dnt knw why. always happens whenever i stay in during the hols.

shopping with steph tmrw, oh my goodness gracious. i SO need retail therapy. cannot wait. and we're tanning too. hopefully i'll be feeling better after it all, i love that girl.

Oh cos I dont know
I dont know what hes after
But hes so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

im longing for love and the logical
But hes only happy hysterical
im waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

kelly clarkson's beautiful disaster, on repeat mode.

im just another friend, i know.

realised i havent been blogging for only 3 days,
but they felt like forever.

monday i met up with my pri school mates ; kmiang, marilyn and evadne, we took neos! (again) then i went to meet tings aft she sat for some england exam. and i suppose tht girl's in shanghai nw or smth -frowns. ths will be worth getting used to i guess..oh welly, your presence is being very much missed babe :D sorry i ws sucha stoner ystd.

today i went tanning w steph! we're always have mellow times togth. and erm, our tanning wsnt very successful. it ws more like a grow fat day. we ate like, ALL the time. wht is ths. i had wholemeal bread in the morning complete w tomatoes, lettuces, cheese and ham and daisy hi lo and then had half a bagel and pure choc whn i met her, then drank iced lemon tea then ate spaghetti and apple juice. all within like, 4 or 5 hours. FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh. ):

anyway. i ws hardly tanned. only a tad red at my arms and chest. oh nvm, thrs thursday and saturday sessions to look forward to. hahah I HOPE IT DOESNT RAIN!!

anyway. after that i met da, mina, dinah, huiying, yimin and jade..we watched robots!! its damn cute. and yknw i dnt really like cartoon movies but ths is nt bad la. the graphics are pretty good. and cute. haha. robots using robots?? then we walked around. i can feel my leg muscles at work agn. the key is to wear heels. hahah. had dinner, ahh i miss the chanmalis and 4C people..i even took the bus all the way to amk then take another bus home. and when we passed by cj, i ws stung by ths wave of nostalgia. sucks to be leaving tht place, ive pretty much grown accustomed to it :( it seems wrong to be saying things like tht somehow, but well.

been feeling rahh-ly stoned recently, what with the recurring diarrhoea and - and all. i will jst die frm shitting.

night, world.

im the one who wants to be be with you
deep inside i hope you feel it too

yikes, feeling very empty now -looks at hwing.

anyway ystd had macs breakfast again. the guys were erm, entertaining themselves. overall i think my last day of school ended quite monotonously, sadly. haha met up with steph!! we were like, slugging @ wisma's coffee club couches and being lame asses. talked :) i love! hahah. yes, we MUST go tanning ths hols. poor sq though. hope youre feeling a lot better :) ahh, i miss tings, mst call her ltr or smth. anywayy

went back to school for the rockafella skank. was late. and anyway the freaking concert was quite a failure. was terribly bored. but practically all the drummers were really good! coolio :D and the last band was the best. i think guys should sing la. the girls' voices were jst drowning in all that music. i just hope we wont think of our favourite songs differently after last night :| whn they announced they were gonna sing a yellowcard song i was half afraid it ws only one. good grief, they sang ocean avenue. haha k im mean. but not bad la, quite entertaining. wai was giving me weird looks tht read 'why your school concert so bleah?' hahah. ele and i were, oh my, goodness gracious. haha.

i think ive been having a very pleasant holiday ever since i got back my results. grand stand everyday. its jst tht i have to wake up at 540am and wear my school uniform. and now that the real hols are here, it feels wrong. like my routines are suddenly disrupted and causing me to malfunction :| what am i talking about. ok i will..go and find something to do. jolene+my saturday plans have failed miserably..haha and i dont feel like going out anymore. will ponder about ths strange and queer feeling. haha.

yikes..!

You Have A Type A- Personality

A- You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

You Will Die at Age 76

76 You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

but i wna die at age 50..

if i had my way, i'd never get over you

yayness, i spent the week catching up with people :)
monday i went to ree's house after her lessons ended. we were being lazy slugs, lying on her couch and watching mtv and eating the whole time. and today i went out w her..we were bth really sleepy. walked around like zombies but laughed a whole lot too. took ugly neos (whts new, we were SCARILY white though we already chose the darkest shade) and i went on a shopping craze. bought yet another pencilcase (i really really like ths one), forever21 skirt, and mango top! shua shua shua. haha. then we sat at cine food court, ate, and talked a lot, i love ths girl :)

and today hwing ws being very naughty. we cabbed away frm school at 10+ and went to the Very Cool serene's centre for mac's breakfast!! i love hotcakes with maple syrup. and the margarine! satisfying! we talked a lot (actually we were like, gushing. hahah. TUBBY ah.) and we bought jx's present (a sad box of ferrero rocher) and i bought the new gossip girls book :D :D and then and then! she made me sit on the stupid horse toy machine and pt in coins! i ws like, humping the freaking horse. and she happily took retarded photos of me. hahah. hilarious. I LOVE HWING!

ystd ws spent with my wiffa! shes so freaking adorable, we took 3 neos and scribbled and drew on one of it so much! very fun. and we were like, laughing hysterically at nydc :D ahh, i will miss ths one a hell lot when i leave cj :(

sigh, all these negative thoughts.
i will miss the people in cj a lot, thought i ws gna have a horrible first 3 mths, hating everything violently but nw everything has reversed. i wish time would slow down :(
im loving my class people a lot, hwing! jolene, don, brendan, amd, everyone! sigh. im getting very depressed. will stop right here..

giving up, is never easy.

i will be happy

today is yet another major pon day, i dont know what i go to school for, unlike busted does. haha ok very lame. anyway today was quite a bad day at school, i dont know why. ok maybe i do knw -looks at hwing. but whatever :(

anyway hwing my dear girl, im sorry i got so very emotional on you. haha and thanks ALOT for saying everything that you said, im ultra glad i have you, really. anw we mst pray for release of results :| haha.

anyway the stupid grand stand, nobody should sit there alone when already initially unhappy. its The place to get very depressed. so there i ws, falling deeper in the black pit, till i heard wiffa's angelic voice calling me, ringing from afar. hahah. i was so happy! :D ok i think im being very exaggerated but yknw what its like, still feeling ugh.

went to far east long john's to meet the others, bashed the chilli to pulp and hwing got very disgusted with me that we came up with yet another episode to our story that just cracked us up like nuts. hahah. amanda was like huh?? while we chuckled away. haha then we went to monsters and they pooled, AND i will want to state right here that i DO NOT like to pool, so pls STOP/DO NOT ask me why, and make me pool. i dnt detest it, im fine with watching and commenting and everything, but i will not participate. its jst a thing. fullstop. grr. anyway dadeedoo came into the picture and made my day better. haha i swear i was gonna drown in my own fake laughter and smiles. ugh ugh ugh.

anywayanywayy we ate and caught up, im very relieved and glad that we talked, its been a very long time -nods. we msnt drift okay?!? i love you! and also, thanks for listening to all my crap -laughs. i think i ws such on a roll that i stopped eating while illustrating my stories. hahah :) oh, then we watched a moment to remember, and i would like to highlight that ths is a MUST WATCH! oh my. i cried buckets. actually, i was more like, sobbing hard or something. i think freda ws qt freaked out by my rather overwhelming response. haha. its THE sweetest show, EVER. sigh. oh, there ws ths couple next to us, and the GUY was crying la. i could hear him! :|
(what are you crying about? did your parents die or did you lose your country?) hahah.

tmrw gonna catch up with my wiffa. midget gem, CANT WAIT :D
i think ths entry has been very shoutout-y. ah whatever.
i will be happy.

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don't believe it makes me real
I'd thought it'd be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things that I said

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
Sometimes it's so crazy that nothing could save me
But it's the only thing that I have

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn't worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It's hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own

my heart plunged, i dont know what for.

i wanted to tell you about my day ): where are you now

tutoring today was quite horrid. the 1030 class kid was being ultra good, im gonna buy her barbie chocs/sweets :) but i cnt say the same for the 12 class. yikes, it was chaos in class. one was being such a bratty and annoyingly giggly smartass (pain in the ass) and the other the super slack and NOISY. riot. couldnt get her to do any work. she just kept babbling on about jolin tsai or that cyndi singer. sheesh. i told her they were just plain acting cute and i couldnt stand them. and when it came to S.H.E, i HAD to put an end to it, retorted that they were disgusting and made her do her work or else she wouldnt get to draw stars on the board.

exasperating.

speaking of which, i AM exasperated.
what am i thinking? :|
wrong, wrong, wrong.

anyway, jc plans ;
1. national
2. anglo chinese
3. st andrews
4. catholic

sigh. i hope ive made the right decisions. this sucks, im gonna miss cj like fuck though. :(

replies!

jocelyn heyy, how did you find out about my blog?? haha anyway, not very well, but still a lot better than i expected. haha. you? did well, i suppose :) where you going?

momsie!! thanks for the thoughtful gifts by steph+you, i thought it ws indeed from lee hwa when i saw the bag. hahah kidding. am loving it a lot! :) yea i knw, i feel very myself when im hanging out with you guys. like, back to the past though we're in the present. haha sorry, i was thinking how things changed :( sad, aint it? nvm, we mst meet up soon again and play stupid lame games that the jcs have taught us. haha glad you like your pres!! :) not sure about the part where you think youre holding a little wendy though..haha. miss you uber!! -hugs. dont be long lost again ok??

After school
Walking home
Fresh dirt under my fingernails
And I can smell hot asphalt
Cars screech to a halt to let me pass
And I cannot remember
What life was like through photographs
Trying to recreate images life gives us from our past

And sometimes its a sad song

But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have
Gone through

he says all the right things at exactly the right time

ahh. i really honestly have no idea where to head to. i think nj would be out cos im really lousy and cannot catch up with the other bright bulbs. but theres tings there and the magnet pull there becomes strong..and i crashed ac ystd to find out what its like..its not as bad as i thought it was but its really far and i didnt feel like i belong there like i do now in cj. and i want to stay in cj bt then again, i dont want to cos their econs suck. and theyre good in history bt im nt so sure abt their lit. and then someone in sa told me sa's lit is good. bt don and jacob says sa's arts will not be as good as cj. so as you can see, im in a dilemma and talking to myself.

poo.

is it true that the deadline to register has been extended to monday?? its really bad,that i keep procrastinating, but i really hope so, thats wht my mum told me but nobody's replying me cos its early in the morning and theres no school today so everyones probably sleeping and im the sole early bird talking to myself at such wee hours on a no-school school day. haha im mad.

i slept for 11hours, went home feeling really sick. ugh. all those pretence of being sick is bad karma. my nose began bothering me when i woke up ystd morning and then my throat too, when me+the other crashers were lying around in their comfy but smelly cafe. haha i became temporarily well again after being fisherman's friend and nim jiom's too. hahah. but TEMPORARY, i say. after hitch and when i reached home, i wanted to die. my head was gonna explode..really bad headache. plus, i was having cramps. yay.

but im really strong and fit as a fiddle now! (nearly) after a pill. yay!

anyway ystd was fun (: somehow. haha.
hitch is really good. there were 2 typically blond and suave and aww-worthy guys. all the happy endings..haha. will never take place in my life.

anyway, gonna catch up w ele and hopefully, tings ltr, before she leaves me, again. haha.

tatas!

i look at all these people, and i wonder
what has changed?

my comp has been weird, cant reach the create new post blog.
anyway, now im here
and i guess im pretty content with life presently :)

monday wld have to be the best day of my life, probably, to date.
saw both eye candies roaming about, had very nice orange bowl, o's results were a pleasant surprise and caught up with tings, everything was just right :) thanks for ralph lauren cool (another to add to my collection, youre the best :)) and the lancome juicy tube btw :D am loving it very much..!
anw ystd i was 'sick' again and towned with the best friend, haha. joyce was with us throughout, but left before we watched the movie. she cut her hair, and cldnt stop fretting redundantly that she looks like a boy now, all the rubbish. shopped (rather fruitful :)) and watched white noise. it ws qt a lame show..ah bt we had fun and ate good food, nonetheless. i love tings a lot! im so glad we've reached a new level of understatement.

and today i watched hide and seek with hwing, jolene and jx. yet another qt dumb show..no comments. havent watched a good movie in a long time..i hope hotel rwanda will be good! will be catching that w da ths sat :)

ele, we mst catch up soon!! hope all is right :)

oh yes, today's pe ws horrible. i got a cold for running in the rain. i forsee a sore throat threatening its arrival too. was freaking pissed. SUCKY. i hate -.

im very annoyed with certain people right now. theyre dampening my mood very much, pls, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! are you shallow or are you not.
grr.
and you, piss off.